No BRB's /
Saturday, May 20, 2006
A few days ago I caught my ex on line so I decided to IM her. Pathetic as it seem but what the hell.
BUZZ! A few hi's and hello's led to a three hour long conversation. Crap, I wish I have enough credits on my net card to last me the the whole night. She was doing her term paper due in a couple of weeks and I was just blog hopping. We got to talking and she told me how she wanted to continue studying after she graduate and maybe teach kids after. How I miss her. Even in cyberspace she managed to make me smile. Eew! Did I just say cyberspace!? Well anyway, I laughed my ass of when she told me how she found out she was diabetic and so on. Eventually the conversation ended and she left me hanging. Again. We ended at Haha's and Hehe's and that was it. She signed out. Did she ran out of net hours? Maybe she fell asleep?. Maybe I bored her to death and decided to sign out without saying goodbye or i'll see you around even. What was I thinking?! I shouldn't have IM'd her in the first place. I hate myself.
After a few nerve wrecking minutes of waiting for her to sign back in I decided to log out myself. That was that. Does she still hate me? Aargh! I hate this. Everytime I see her or talk to her, she manages to fill my brain with thoughts that could easily drive a man insane. Why? Why? Why? Why can't I just erase her from my mind. How I wish the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was true. If it was, sign me up coz I definately want her out of my brain and out of my life. If only life was so simple.
I guess you never really could erase someone from your past. Shake her off your system and move on to your same old boring, miserable, cold, dull, meaningless existence. Could I sound any more of a loser?Anyway, I have this friend who also had a bad break up with her boyfriend. He was her first boyfriend too and her first love. Yes, you've guessed it she's still not "over" over him. She said she was but then again, Not! Kinda like me. I thought I was for like the Nth time but then again, Not! Don't get me wrong, she wasn't my first girlfriend, but she was my first love. My first real, serious, "I want you so badly" girlfriend. I had countless of firsts with her and how I wanted her to be the last. Crap! can somebody please shoot me in the head right now! I thought it was a smart move to mislead your attention and focus on my friends love life but way to go Joe, back to where you started. I'm such a wuss.
It's been four days now and needless to say she's out of my life again. I've realized that no matter what I try to do or what I try to think might happen in the near future, she will always and I mean ALWAYS find a way to sneak up on me. Haunt my thoughts for all of eternity. My first. She will always be my first.
If anybody I know is reading this right now, try not to comment. You wise ass son of a b#*ch, sick mother f*ck$R (beep) (beep) (beep)..... Jerk.
i took a shot.
6:26 PM
0 prescribe me a different pill.
Fun Filled Summer with cHacHing! /
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
-me and nyx-
(Tondaligan 04.26.06)
-ynna and i-
(Bangus Fest 04.30.06)
-me and sare-ee-
(Lingayen Gulf 05.08.06)
i took a shot.
3:57 PM
0 prescribe me a different pill.
