I love health science; Ynna hates it.

Tina loves numbers and equations; I hate it.

Sare-ee loves to cook; I can only cook rice

(Ynna has a can opener).

Ynna's passionate about philosophy and the arts;

I can hardly keep up with her stories.

Nyx' loves to act; the rest of us can't.

There are so many things we don't agree on and yet 12 minutes together is so not enough.

looking at the mirror,

my biggest critique starring at me.

two lost souls taking each others ego;

their being of nothingness.

the fullness of their hearts

comes in equal measure

with the emptiness of my soul.

all that remains is envy inside me.

as I see their gentle strokes

and their flamboyant whispers,

hope sneaks up on me

insisting that my shoe will someday fit.

09.19.04

4:45 am

Yesterday for some odd reason, my dad wanted me to go do the grocery shopping for this month. It really was so weird because for the past, I don't know... 6 months, he always wanted my sister-in-law to do the grocery shopping; who by the way didn't know the difference between chicken and beef ramen and only shopped for things she needed. Which obviously pissed the crap out of me. Everytime she came back from the grocery store, I don't really know why the hell won't she buy things useful for "us" human beings like toothpaste for crying out loud. She constantly bought things like chips and crackers that she instantly devour in no less than 5 minutes when she's so-called "reviewing" her med. notes.

So and then back to my lame grocery story. My dad caught me by surprise when he suddenly said that he'll go do the grocery shopping with me (bomb drops on my head). I was like "Whut the f*ck?!? Why? why? what do you want? I didn't do it, I swear I'm innocent..." The self-monologue continued in my head for like a couple of blocks while we were on our way to the mall. Was he serious? It was so weird. Why is he being so nice? He's so weird. I suddenly realized I had to tape our conversation for evidence if ever my dad goes berserk and decides to shoot me in the head and drop my body in an empty lot by the river (...and roll camera!). I had him figured out, this was just a plot to screw my head and play devils advocate again. I had to do something (play dead joe, play dead.) Rats!!! So, there we were, father and son doing the grocery shopping. It was really weird. I keep on saying it was weird huh? Trust me, it was beyond weird, E.T. landing on earth would have seem normal compared to our situation that day.

After our so awkward day of shopping, which by the way I was deeply traumatized, I was suppose to go to my friend cathy's party. Unfortunately, the weather won't let me go to her house coz it won't stop raining. Argh! So there, that was that. I'm not making any sense so i'll stop here. Hey I know what might cheer me up... good 'ol rainbow connection song. Yipee!!!

So I've been told,

I am my father's son.

His nose, his ears, his walk, his smile.

I am my father's son.

He kept me for twenty two years,

Years that I've dodged the bullets of his gun.

Run, run, run another mile.

For I am my father's son.

I never said I wanted any pot of gold;

I would rather have the rays of the sun.

Not his but my nose, my ears and my bile.

I know, I am my father's son.

Days passed sheding tears for fears,

Trying to trade all of my profanities for fun.

Stabbed my heart three times with a nail file;

It didn't work. Somebody shoot me now, I'm done.

So I've been told,

I am my father's son.

His nose, his ears, his walk, his smile.

I am my father's son.

He kept me for twenty two years,

Years that I've dodged the bullets of his gun.

Run, run, run another mile.

For I am my father's son.

I never said I wanted any pot of gold;

I would rather have the rays of the sun.

Not his but my nose, my ears and my bile.

I know, I am my father's son.

Days passed sheding tears for fears,

Trying to trade all of my profanities for fun.

Stabbed my heart three times with a nail file;

It didn't work. Somebody shoot me now, I'm done.