I just saw my dad with another woman. I can't really explain how I felt the moment I saw them, but for a second there, I felt like I was dumb-struck by the whole situation. It was so weird because that wasn't the first time I saw my dad with his whore but I guess it felt strange that it was with a different woman.

It was a typical day. I woke up extra early to take my final test (hopefully) at my sucky school . Went home early and just watched T.V. the entire afternoon. My dad came in around 10 and drunk again as usual. I was pretty jaded when he got home. Knowing that he'll definately nag for hours, I just casually ignored him and just watched SNL. And then a weird thing happened... he said he's going out again to get a drink with his friends. Like, "Hello!, you can barely stand up straight, how do you expect to drive?" (As if I cared. Go ahead! drive you baboon). Due to the unusual quirk in the Philippine No Drinking and Driving Code, there are no cops to arrest you or give you a ticket for drunk driving. So then he went out and got in his car. Unknowingly, I followed my dad outside coz I was starving and was terribly craving for a hotdog at the local convenient shop. "Pa!" I yelled. So he stopped. I stooped down to ask him for some money and then... BAM! I saw this girl in his passenger seat. Pretending i saw nothing I took the money he gave me and was gone way before you could even say go. Waiting for a ride, questions quickly filled my brain. What does he take me for? I'm not that dumb. I'm not 7, I know that that was his whore. I didn't sleep that night. Pretty much used to the whole situation that I almost forgot how it felt to be so angry with my dad. I was just so tired of everything happening around me.

The next day I woke up early and went to school to attend a review with my friend Jureane. Went to church afterwards and ironically, the priest was talking about how people always complain and question God why things are not going the way they want them to be. Kinda' like me. Hooked on the preist's talk, he then told the story about a man who went to church and prayed to God asking Him why his life is so full of trials and burdens. God then answered; "I gave you mountains and hills to climb for you to have a better view of life." That wasn't the first time I heard that verse but suddenly it came very clear to me. For the first time I finally understood what that meant and for once I felt that God was talking to me and was really listening to my rants.

A good friend once told me, "learn how to count your blessings instead of counting your mishaps." I can't say that I've fully learned to count my blessings but slowly I'm trying. I don't have all the answers to my questions. I can't change who I am or trade my dad for a better one. Life's tough. Shit happens. Whore-Shmore I don't really give a f*ck. I'm just a disturbed kid trying to count everything in between.